The doctors have been remarkably frank – when pressed. Despite the first consultant’s reluctance to tell me which “avenues” they were pursuing, once that was out of the way and honesty was established as the order of the day, I have had nothing but.
Dr Yin who performed the LP explained that this would only serve to triangulate the diagnosis that had already been suggested from the MRI, and when I asked if she would be surprised if it failed to confirm MS, she said I should go home and reconcile myself with the diagnosis I had received. This was a relief in many ways; the thought of not knowing for “a few weeks” – (someone needs to launch a consultation on the meaning of “a few” to alleviate its previously unnoticed ambiguity) – would have been quite tortuous I imagine.
So tonight, when Tony had gone home for the second, or maybe even third, time today, and I was finally left alone, I cried. And cried. And wondered how I am supposed to begin to come to terms with this.